Get Lost, Squidward
by YourGuardianAngel08
Summary: When Tony, Strange, Wong, and Banner confront Ebony Maw for the first time, Tony called the intergalactic villain "Squidward". This is the short drabble of a story to explain why someone as busy as Tony Stark knew and was able to accurately reference SpongeBob SquarePants. Spoilers for Infinity War.


**So when I saw Infinity War for the first time, I remember thinking that it was a little strange that Tony knew who Squidward was because it just did not seem like something that he would know. He always seems just a little too busy to stay up on a cartoon from the early 2000s. Then I watched the director's commentary about Tony and Peter's relationship and it started to make some more sense. They mentioned that it very much is a father/son relationship and since Spongebob is still a thing for teenagers (source – I deal with teenagers) it would make sense that Tony would know the reference because of Peter not because he for some reason watched an early 2000s cartoon from Nickelodeon as a thirty year old.**

* * *

"Mr. Stark?" Peter questioned when he thought he heard someone approach as he lounged on the couch in Tony's private living room. The TV was on in the background but Peter was paying attention to the calculus book balanced on his lap as he finished working through the integrals his teacher had assigned over the weekend. He knew he could get it done pretty quickly. But more importantly, he worked on it because Tony told him that getting his homework done was the only way he could work in the labs this weekend and he really wanted to finish up his new webshooters.

When no one answered his question, Peter gave a one-shouldered shrug and turned his attention back to the problems in front of him. FRIDAY would be able to tell him where Mr. Stark had lost his ability to tell time as soon as he asked. But first, homework.

As he worked through the second to last evaluation, Peter couldn't help but smirk when he heard the quiet but still telltale sounds of seagulls followed by the gruff voice of the captain, "Are ya ready kids?" He was tempted to ask FRIDAY to turn up the volume since Spongebob was one of those shows that even high schools still watched but he reminded himself that he wanted to work in the lab more. So he forced himself to focus, "FRIDAY, can you mute it?" As the opening bars of the song faded out, Peter forced his attention back to the problem at hand.

He managed to work for the better part of ten minutes before he felt his attention called back to the ridiculously drawn cartoon still playing on mute. SpongeBob was sitting on the floor of Patrick's house with a stocking over his face as a box fell into his lap. Peter had seen this one before and chuckled at the ludicrousness of the string and the still dry picture. Even without the sound he found himself following along with the plot for a few minutes before he reminded himself he had to work. He dragged his eyes back to his notebook and managed to find another burst of focus that let him finish up relatively quickly.

Sighing contentedly, Peter snapped his book shut and threw it onto the other side of the couch, carefully closing up his notebook and throwing it on top of the textbook. He would have to collect them eventually but for right now, they could stay there. He and Tony would probably be in the lab most of the night and Pepper was finishing up negotiations in Japan so the books wouldn't be in the way for a least a day or so.

He thought about turning off the TV but realized there were only a few minutes left and to be honest it was one of the best SpongeBob episodes so instead, he ask, "FRIDAY, can you please turn the TV back up?" She obliged his request just as the band started to play loudly in order to sound good. He laughed at the stupidity of the episode as he pulled a pillow into his lap and curled back into the corner of the overstuffed couch.

"Well, you did it," Squidward started just as Peter heard the elevator slide up to the floor. As the door quietly opened, Peter kept watching through Squidward's emotional plea as listened to his mentor's footsteps echo across the carpet, the smell of motor oil and metal wafted through the air along with him. Peter smirked as Tony stepped up behind the couch and laid his hands on the back of the cushion. Peter could almost imagine the look on his face, it would be a mixture of amusement and incredulousness and his head was probably cocked slightly to the side as he tried to figure out what Peter was watching.

When it seemed like he could not quite figure out what it was, Tony waited for the bubble transition before he asked with exaggerated concern, "What are you watching? Where did you even find something like this?"

Peter twisted on the couch to take in the disheveled look of his mentor, "SpongeBob SquarePants," he intoned like it should fully answer Tony's question before he threw him a hyperbolic scowl and added, "Did you lose a fight to Dumb-ee?"

Tony scrunched up his face at the question, "Do I look that bad?" He asked, tugging at the ruined shirt as the show flashed over to an image of a real football field. The cuts drew Tony's attention back to the screen and he asked, "Seriously, what is this?"

"It's just a dumb show that's kind of become a meme, but actually this episode really isn't bad." Peter shrugged, finishing up his answer just as the horns signaling the show started. "Just watch it." He implored, smiling when Tony leaned forward onto his forearms on the back of the couch.

But the time the tones of "Sweet Victory" faded out, Tony was still leaning on the back of the couch and he inched forward just enough to look the curled kid in the eye, "What did I just watch?"

Peter smirked back at him, "It was on while I was doing my homework and I figured I would just finish the episode before I came to find you, that's one of Ned and my favorites." Peter explained, unwilling to give in to Tony's prodding.

Still Tony wasn't done, "So when I said Spider-kid, I wasn't too far off?"

Peter rolled his eyes at the comment and quipped back, "Right because you still watching Voltron when you need background noise is not even remotely close to the same thing."

Tony scowled in an attempt to hid the laughter in his eyes before hitting Peter on the shoulder with the back of his hand, "Come on, kid, I thought you had some design stuff you wanted to show me."

As Peter slapped the pillow onto the couch next to him and started to get up, Tony asked, "Wait you finished your homework, right? Aunt hottie is not going to be okay with you working until its done."

Peter rolled his eyes again before he nodded enthusiastically, "Of course I did Mr. Stark, integrals and proofs are easy." He completely ignored the comment about May, knowing that if he said anything about it Tony would just keep up with it so instead, he took off toward the elevator. Tony shook his head for a moment, a smile creeping across his face before following after the bounding teenager.

* * *

They worked for the better part of the night before Tony started to hum a tune as he worked on the calculations for the nanotech of Peter's webshooters. It was just a random rhythm that wormed its way into his head and he could not help but start humming it in an attempt dislodge it from his mind.

Peter was tinkering with the mechanics of the physical accessory of the webshooter when he heard Tony start to hum. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, sometimes he sang, sometimes he danced, and other times he would react to the music playing in the lab but this was different because he was not singing the Clash song blaring in the background. It took Peter a minute but he eventually recognized the tune, turning away from the soldering he was working on, he asked, "Mr. Stark, what are you humming?"

Tony stopped momentarily as he searched for the name, "I…'m not sure. It just kinda got stuck in my head."

Peter started to laugh, "That's the song from the SpongeBob episode I was watching." He smirked at the scrunched, unbelieving expression Tony shot him.

Tony shook his head, a look of exaggerated horror on his face, "No way, it's got to be something else."

Peter's smile widened but he didn't address it, instead his response was to prove Tony wrong, "FRIDAY play the song from the show I was watching earlier."

As the trumpets sounded again over the speakers and the video played on the wall, Tony started to shake his head, "Dammit really…" he breathed out. Then he looked over at Peter, "Do you really like this show?"

Peter shrugged, "I mean its not my favorite show, but there are some pretty funny episodes."

Tony squinted at him for a few moments before he relented to some unknown force and said, "Fine, finish up what you're doing, we're going to watch some more of it." Tony would have watched hours of that show if it kept Peter's bright smile on his face.

* * *

Unfortunately, for two naturally curious people, finishing up was more of a process than what it was for most people so by the time they wrapped up, it was well after midnight. Tony looked over at Peter, "Wanna get some ice cream and watch TV?"

Peter couldn't help but smile, "Yup. Sounds good."

It didn't take long for them to get settled onto the couch, Peter was not pressed quite into Tony's side but they were sitting close enough to share their Ben and Jerry's ice cream between them. They settled on SpongeBob. As the seagulls started, Tony asked questions about the characters involved and the premise of the show. Peter answered everything and pointed out each of the characters as they showed up on the screen. They watched a few episodes before they started to burrow into the overstuffed cushions and as the current episode played, Peter's head slipped onto Tony's shoulder. His ice cream pint was held in increasingly light fingers as he slipped closer to sleep. Tony noticed and pulled the ice cream away, setting it on the table in front of them before he dropped his arm around Peter's shoulders when he relaxed back into the couch. Tony could not help his smile as the kid snuggled a little closer. Not too long after that, Tony felt himself start to nod off too. He unconsciously pulled Peter just a little bit closer as a feeling of protectiveness swelled in his chest. It was one of those twilight thoughts that people only acknowledge when their defenses are down and it let Tony admit something else to himself. He had never wanted a kid but the longer Peter was around, the more he warmed to the idea. He was content in a way he didn't think was possible before the kid had swung into his life and with that thought at the forefront of his mind, it didn't take him much longer before he joined the kid in unconsciousness.

* * *

From that point on, SpongeBob took its place next to Voltron as one of those shows Tony and Peter would leave on in the background when music was not on the agenda for the day in the lab.

* * *

It was just supposed to be a normal day and then Bruce showed up and he brought some weird wizard doctor with him and all hell broke loose. As Tony took off into the crowd of screaming, running people, he could not help but think this was not the day he had expected when he and Pepper had gone for their run that morning.

* * *

Strange sent up a…burst of energy…or something that seemed to shut off the propulsion of the alien ship and then he gave Tony an overconfident wink that was just a little annoying to the billionaire. Tony couldn't help but smirk at the overconfidence, but then the situation demanded his attention.

A beam of light emanated from the frozen ship that dropped two aliens on the destroyed street. One was huge, a physically imposing brute with a hammer that was the height of the smaller one standing next to him. But it was the thin, ugly one that spoke with a haughty, clear voice, befitting a newly appeared bad guy, "Hear me, and rejoice. You are about to die at the hands of the children of Thanos." The big guy obviously wasn't very bright because as the other one talked, he could only growl something that kind of sounded like speech and heft his huge hammer up into his hand. The thin one continued, "Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing to the balance…"

Tony was not impressed. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he attempted to sound as correspondingly arrogant, authoritative, and bored as possible, "I'm sorry Earth is closed today. You better pack it up and get outta here."

But the thin one was not interested in what he had to say, instead he addressed the wizard standing behind Tony, "Stone Keeper, does this chattering animal speak for you?"

As Strange took some confident steps in front of Tony, Iron Man could not help but wonder at the sound the doctor's arms made as he knocked them together. Then Strange's own arrogant voice rang out, "Certainly not, I speak for myself." As Strange finished his thought, Tony watched him throw his arms in front of him and glowing orange spheres appeared at the ends of his fists, like mini-shields. Tony was a little confused by the action but tried his best to keep his reaction neutral. Still, Tony caught what Strange said next, "You are trespassing in this city and on this planet."

Not one to be overlooked, Tony threw in his two cents, "He means get lost Squidward." Tony didn't even bat an eye at the expression but there was a brief thought that flashed through his mind of Peter laughing at the jab. The kid would have appreciated it but at the same time, Tony was infinitely thankful that Peter was at school, miles away from where an alien spaceship hovered over the streets of New York.

The thin one spoke said, "He exhausts me. Bring me the stone." Tony knew this was going to get ugly. Turning to Bruce, he asked, "Banner you want a piece?" Tony's gaze was fixed on the hulking brute dragging his hammer toward them but he at least tried to split his attention between the threat and Bruce.

Banner's voice cut through the din, "Na..n…no not really but when do I always get what I want."

Tony was a little taken aback by the response but knew that Bruce had always had some trouble turning into the Hulk and just assumed that was the case so he continued to press him forward, "That's right. It's been a while, it's gonna be good to have you, buddy."

"Okay shush." Bruce said as he shrank down next to him, "I just…I need to concentrate here for a second. Come on, come on man."

Tony couldn't help the feeling of dread that started to creep up when Bruce couldn't call his other, stronger half, "Where's your guy?" He asked with a little too much anxiousness.

"I don't know we've sorta been having a thing." Bruce responded, frustrated.

"This is no time for a thing," Tony said, hitting Bruce lightly in the chest in an attempt to get him to focus on the threat that was currently stalking toward them, "that's a thing right there, let's go." Tony couldn't help but look over at Strange as Bruce growled and slumped closer to the ground. Not wanting to be outdone by the people with orange shields on their hands, Tony loudly whispered down to Banner, "Dude you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards."

"I'm sorry, ei…either I can't or he won't." Bruce whispered back, matching Tony's tone even as they were staring down an alien.

Tony realized that without the big guy or any type of armor, Bruce could be seriously injured or killed and he was not ready to lose a friend he had just gotten back. So he gave Bruce his full attention. Patting him on the chest, he tried to convince him to stay back for this fight, "Hey stand down…" Then he turned back to the other wizard and ordered, "keep an eye on him."

"I have him." The man responded without taking his eyes off the creatures in front of them. As Bruce moved behind the wizard, Tony realized he would have to get to work. Thankfully, he had the nanobot storage with him. Tony deployed his newest suit, creating the largest repulsor blast he could think of and allowing the intelligence of the suit to take care of the rest. As he blasted the brute away from them he couldn't help but be a bit impressed by his own tech and it didn't help that as soon as it happened, Bruce said disbelievingly, "Where'd that come from?"

Tony was glad for the compliment and turned to address him, assuming the thin, talking guy was not as much of a threat. He started to explain, "It's nanotech, do you like it? A little something I…" Then he felt the ground swell under him quickly, throwing him up and away from the small group. Apparently, the Squidward guy could control magic like the wizards… _Great_ , Tony thought.

It took him a second to recover but the attack just pissed him off. Rocketing forward he fired at the car Squidward launched toward them, forcing it back toward the annoyingly powerful alien. Immediate bludgeoning threat dealt with, he turned back to Strange, "Time to get that stone outta here now."

"It stays with me." The man responded in a determined growl.

"Exactly, bye." Tony responded again, desperate now to keep this stone, whatever it really was out of the hands of these aliens who were obviously trying pretty hard to get their hands on it. His goal was Squidward but the dumb one threw his hammer, slammed Tony through a building and into an adjacent park, effectively taking him out of the fight with Strange.

* * *

But the giant followed him.

Tony managed to get Bruce out of the way and forced the attention to stay on him while he fought. He was holding his own for a while but then the giant hulking guy slammed the head of the hammer down onto Tony's back. The blow easily knocked him out of the sky and forced him, bouncing, across the ground on his stomach, meaning he needed to roll over quick enough to catch the hammer before it managed to crush his spine. Unfortunately, the guy was faster that Tony thought and Iron Man only managed to even get an arm under him before the hammer was already on a downswing. But the blow never came and as Tony rolled over, he saw a familiar red and blue suit. The kid's arms were thrown up over his head, holding the massive hammer at bay as if it was nothing more than a foam prize from the fair. Always polite, Peter addressed the alien whose hammer he had just stopped mid-swing, "Hey man, what's up?"

Then he turned down to his mentor, taking his eyes off the threat, "What's up, Mr. Stark?" Peter said brightly, still holding the hammer back, protecting them both.

Tony could not keep the slight twinge of fear out of his voice as he quickly pressed himself up on his elbows, "Kid, where'd you come from?"

"A fieldtrip…" Was all the farther Peter got before the alien took the distraction to wrap a massive hand around Peter's waist and chuck the smaller superhero out of the way. Still, Peter finished his statement, "to MOMA."

Tony watched the kid bounce across the ground and into the fountain across the park. Tony felt anger scream to the front of his mind, momentarily replacing the fear as he immediately jumped up with repulsors at maximum, trying to not only bring this monster of an alien down but doing what he could to keep its attention off Peter.

Still, Peter jumped right back into the fight, "What's this guy's problem, Mr. Stark?"

Tony knew he needed the help and he learned a long time ago that he would not be able to get Peter to back down from a fight once they were in one, so he answered, "Uh…he's from space…he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard."

"Oh yah…" Peter managed to get out before he was again thrown for his efforts.

The two battled back and forth with the alien but neither could really get an upper-hand. Tony currently had the brute's attention and he wanted to keep it that way. As he brought the hammer down again, Tony blocked the strike with his shield just as Strange's body flew passed. Seeing an opportunity to get the kid away from the hammer wield alien, Tony gave him another task, "Kid that's the wizard, get on it."

Without question, Peter listened to his mentor and started to web away, adding, "On it." As he took off into the city to chase down the wizard.

* * *

Peter webbed up the wizard's body and managed to swing away before some type of magnetic pull started to tug the wizard up into the ship. Realizing there was no other way to describe it than to say what he had always seen on Star Trek, Peter used it. He tried not to voice his fear but, this was really weird, so he quickly shouted, "Uh…Mr. Stark, I'm being beamed up." He was not about to let the wizard Tony told him to save out of his sight so instead, he just had to hope that Tony would get there in time. Thankfully, he heard Tony answer him almost immediately and Peter felt some of the fear dissipate with Tony's reassurance.

"Hang on, kid." Tony felt his anger and fear ratchet up when he heard that and he immediately started to analyze escape routes from this annoyingly tough alien. Unfortunately, as he was trying to get away, the brute managed to grab him with some kind of electrical claw that frozen his suit like a concentrated EMP pulse. Tony went down hard. He struggled against the claw, the whole time counting the length of time since Peter had said he had been beamed up. He needed to get out of this stupid claw. Tony looked up to see the giant alien launch himself in an attack, only to see him disappear as an orange portal opened above him.

Tony took the opportunity and shattered the claw wrapped around him before recognizing the person who saved him, "Wong, you're invited to my wedding." Then he rocketed off, he needed to get to Peter. It had been too long since he said he was being beamed onto an alien ship. Tony felt true fear building in his chest as he rocketed toward the kid. It had been easy to be flippant earlier, when it was adults who were dealing with the situation but now Peter was involved and Tony was having a hard time dealing with the fact that the kid he was responsible for, the kid he cared quite a lot about, was currently on an alien spaceship heading out into space. Tony needed to solve this. Now. As he got into visual range, he realized Peter was clinging to the outside of the ship. Thankful for at least that, Tony ordered, "Give me a little juice FRIDAY." Then added, "Unlock 17A."

Then he turned his attention back to the kid. More than anything, he wanted him off that ship. His voice softened a bit even as the fear became more pronounced. He needed to get the kid back to Earth, "Pete, you gotta let go, I'm gonna catch you."

Unfortunately, Peter was about as stubborn as Tony, calling back, "But you said save the wizard." Then he seemed to take stock of his situation, or he was talking because he was nervous, either one was possible but he said, "I can't breathe." He pulled off the mask, as he was going into space.

Tony felt his heart stop at the sentiment, Peter needed to let go, now, so Tony tried to explain what was going on to the hypoxic, idiotic kid. "You're too high up, you're runnin' out of air." Tony could see the countdown on his helmet, Peter's suit was only a few seconds away but then Tony saw Peter's grip give up on the side of the ship. It was terrible to see but the terror only lasted for a flash of a moment before the nanotech suit hit Peter's back and quickly start to enclose him in a suit that could handle that atmosphere. But still, Tony waited to hear Peter say something, not having that response was as bad as watching him fall off the side of the ship.

After a few agonizing moments of waiting to hear something, Peter's voice sounded over their coms, "Mr. Stark it smells like a new car in here."

Tony could not help the relief in his voice when he answered, "Happy trails, kid." He still needed to get him home, "FRIDAY send him home." Tony knew that Peter would be upset with him but they were quickly leaving Earth's atmosphere and if he did not get Peter away from the ship soon, he was going to end up stuck in space. That was something Tony was unwilling to let happen. He watched long enough to see Peter carried away from the ship on the parachute before he breathed a sigh of relief. At least Peter was going to be no where near whatever was about to happen. That was Tony's only positive thought as he attached himself to the side of the ship. He was going to deal with this threat and then he was going to go home and watch some more TV with the kid.

* * *

 **So that's my reasoning for why Tony knows Squidward. Plus it was a fun little story to write while I had a little extra time. Let me know what you think!**

 **I hope you have a wonderful day/night and as always, stay creative!**

 **-Lily**


End file.
